Lesson 4: Changed

NO AFFECTION ANYMORE

DEAR ABBY:

My husband of 39 years no longer hugs me or shows me any affection. I have seen him through cancer and diabetes. We have four grown children, and we have been seeing a therapist for a year and a half. He is kind, generous and friendly, but there are no compliments or any of the flirtatious banter we used to enjoy.

He swears he's not having an affair, and he doesn't know why he has changed. Perhaps you do?

GRACE IN PHOENIX

Hello. Welcome to mini story A. Mini story A for Changed. In this mini story I will ask questions you know. Okay. Questions about the letter that you know. Let's start.
There is a woman. Where does she live? Where did she live? Let's practice past. Where did this woman live? Well she lived in Phoenix. Alright. She lived in Phoenix. Did she live in Phoenix,
Texas? No, Phoenix isn't in Texas. Did she live in Phoenix, Arizona? Yes she did. She lived in Phoenix, Arizona.
Who lived in Phoenix, Arizona? Ah, Grace. Alright. Her name is Grace. Grace lived in Phoenix, Arizona. Did she live in Phoenix, Arizona or Tucson, Arizona? Well, she lived in Phoenix, Arizona.
Grace lived in Phoenix, Arizona.
Did Grace have a problem? Did Grace have a problem? Yes, she had a problem. Did she have a problem with her children? No, no. She didn't have a problem with her children. Did she have a
problem with her mom? No. She didn't have a problem with her mom. Did she have a problem with her husband? Yes, she had a problem with her husband.
What problem did she have with her husband? Ahh, no affection. Alright. He didn't show her any affection. Did he show her affection? No, he didn't. He didn't show her any affection. Did he show her a little affection? No, he didn't. He didn't show her any affection. Did he show her a lot of affection? No, no, none, zero. Her didn't show her any affection. Who didn't show her any affection?
Ah, her husband, yeah. Her husband didn't show her any affection. Did she want her husband to show her affection? Of course, of course she did. Yes. Definitely, yes. She wanted her husband to show her affection.
Was she happy about her husband? No, she wasn't happy. Was she sad about her husband?
Yeah, yeah. She was sad about her husband. Why was she sad about her husband? Ahh, because he didn't show her any affection. She was sad because he didn't show her any affection.
She saw him through cancer and diabetes. Did she see him through cancer? Yes, she saw him through cancer. Did she see him through a heart attack? No, no, no. Not a heart attack. She didn't see him through a heart attack. She saw him through cancer and diabetes. Did he have cancer and diabetes in the past? Yes, yes he did. In the past he had cancer and diabetes. Did she see him through cancer and diabetes? Yes, yes she did.
Did she stay with him when he was sick? That's right. Yes, she did. She stayed with him when he was sick. Did she leave him when he was sick? Nooo, she didn't leave him when he was sick. She stayed with him when he was sick. When he was sick did she stay or did she leave? Ahh, she stayed. Right. She's a great wife. She stayed with him when he was sick.
How long have they been married? Hmm, ahh, 39 years. Right. She said, "39 years." They have been married 39 years. Have they been married 37 years? Nooo, they haven't been married 37 years. Have they been married 37 years or have they been married 39 years? That's right 39.
They have been married 39 years. Have they been married 39 years? Yes, exactly. They have been married 39 years. 
When did they get married? Hmm. When did they get married? They got married 39 years ago.
Did they get married 38 years ago? Noo, no, no, no not 38. They got married 39 years ago. They got married 39 years ago. Are they still married now? Yes, they are still married. They are married now. Okay.
Who are they seeing? Hmm. They are seeing a therapist. Are they seeing a doctor? No, they're not seeing a doctor. Are they seeing a therapist? Yes, they are seeing a therapist. Are they meeting with a therapist or are they meeting with a doctor? Well, they are meeting with a therapist.
Right. They are seeing a therapist. They are meeting with a therapist.
How long have they been meeting with a therapist? Ahh, for a year and a half. Who have they been seeing for a year and a half? They have been seeing a therapist for a year and a half. Have they been meeting with a doctor for a year and a half? Nope, not a doctor. Have they been meeting with a therapist for a year and a half? Yes. Who has been meeting with a therapist for a year and a half? Well Grace and her husband. The husband and wife have been meeting with a therapist for a year and a half.
Does the husband – did the husband compliment Grace? No, he didn't compliment her anymore.
Who didn't compliment Grace anymore? Well, her husband. Right. Her husband didn't compliment her anymore. Did she want her husband to compliment her? Yes, of course, definitely. She wanted her husband to compliment her, but he didn't compliment her anymore.
Was Grace happy or was Grace sad because her husband didn't compliment her anymore? Oooh, yeah, sad of course. She was sad. She was sad because her husband didn't compliment her anymore.
Was her husband having an affair? Ummm. No, no. He wasn't having an affair. Well, he said, "He wasn't having an affair." Who wasn't having an affair? Umm. Grace's husband. Grace's husband
wasn't having an affair. Did he swear that he wasn't having an affair? Yes, that's right. He swore, swore, past tense, he swore he wasn't having an affair. Did he promise he wasn't having an affair?
Yes, he promised he wasn't having an affair. What did he promise? Um. He promised he wasn't having an affair. Who did he promise? Oooh. He promised Grace. Right. He promised Grace that he wasn't having an affair.
Okay, that is all of mini story A. Listen to it many, many times. Listen to it every day. Do this for two weeks or more. And of course answer every question. Okay. Bye, bye.

Okay. Welcome to mini story B for Changed. In this mini story I will ask questions you know and I will also ask questions you don't know. If you don't know the answer you must guess. You must guess. Okay. Let's start.
What was the woman's name? Ah, that's easy. Her name was Grace. Right. Grace. The woman's name was Grace. What was her husband's name? Was it Buford or Tom? Her husband's name was Buford. Of course, her husband's name was Buford. What was her name? Hmm. Her name was Grace. And what was his name? His name was Buford.
Okay, Buford and Grace had been married 39 years. But they had a problem. What was their problem? Ahh, no affection. Right. No more affection. Their problem was that there was no affection from Buford. Who didn't show affection? Ah, Buford. Buford didn't show affection. What didn't Buford do? Hmm. Buford didn't show affection. When didn't Buford show affection? Well, never.
Never. Did he show affection in the morning? Noo, he didn't show affection in the morning. Did he show affection at night? No, he didn't show affection at night. Did he show affection in the afternoon? No, he didn't. Buford never showed affection to Grace.
Where did they live? Well, they lived in Phoenix, Arizona. Did he show affection to Grace in Phoenix? Noo, he didn't. Did he show affection to Grace in San Francisco? Nope. No, not in San Francisco. He never showed affection to Grace.
How many children did they have? They had four children. Did they have two children? No, they had four children.
Were they seeing a therapist? Yes, they were seeing a therapist. What was the therapist's name?
The therapist's name was Dr. Phil. Was the therapist's name Dr. Phil? Yes, the therapist's name was Dr. Phil. Who was the therapist? The therapist was Dr. Phil.
What did the therapist tell Buford and Grace? Ahhh, Dr. Phil told Buford and Grace to go to a nude beach. Hmm. Nude N U D E, nude means no clothes. No clothes. Not wearing clothes. No shirts. No pants. Nothing. Nude. Nude, no clothes. And a beach B E A C H. Right. Beach has sand and sun and water. Right. Next to the ocean. Next to the ocean. So a nude beach is a beach where people do not wear clothes. No clothes. Ahh. So Dr. Phil told them to go to a nude beach. Where did Dr. Phil tell them to go? He told them to go to a nude beach. Who did Dr. Phil tell to go to a nude beach? Ahhh, Grace and Buford. He told Grace and Buford to go to a nude beach.
When did he want them to go? Ahh. He wanted them to go on New Year's Day. New Year's Day.
Okay. It's January 1st. January number 1. Right. January 1st. He wanted them to go to a nude beach on January 1st. Which nude beach did he want them to go to? Hmm. Did he want them to
go to a Los Angeles nude beach or to an Alaska nude beach? Of course, Alaska. Alaska. You know, very cold. Is Alaska hot or is Alaska cold? Alaska is very cold. Alright, next to Canada. It's
very cold. Did he want them to go to a nude beach in Alaska? Yes he did. Dr. Phil wanted them to go to a nude beach in Alaska. Hmm. When did Dr. Phil want them to go to a nude beach in Alaska?
Ahhh, New Year's Day, January 1st. Dr. Phil wanted them to go to a nude beach in Alaska on January 1st. 
Who did Dr. Phil want to go to Alaska, to a nude beach on January 1st? Ahhh, Buford and Grace.
He wanted Buford and Grace to go to a nude beach in Alaska on January 1st. Do they wear clothes at a nude beach? No, no, no one wears clothes at a nude beach or on a nude beach. Do people wear shirts on a nude beach? Nooo, no, no, no. Do people wear pants on a nude beach? Noooo.
Do people wear socks on a nude beach? S O X sox. Nooooooo. Do people wear underwear, underwear, do people wear underwear on a nude beach? Noooo. People do not wear underwear on a nude beach. Are people naked N A K E D? Are people naked on a nude beach? Yes, yes they are. They are naked. They have no clothes.
Why did Dr. Phil want them to go to a nude beach in Alaska on January 1st? Why? Obviously because it's very, very cold. Because it's very cold. Why does, why did, I'm sorry. Why did Dr. Phil want them to be cold? Why did Dr. Phil want them to be cold on a nude beach? Ahhh, obviously so they would hug each other. Ahhhh, very obvious, obviously. So they would hug each other. If they were cold then they would hug each other. Right. If they are cold then they will hug each other. Dr. Phil wanted them to go to a nude beach in Alaska on January 1st because they would be cold and then they would hug each other. Ahhhhhhh, interesting.
Did Dr. Phil want them to hug each other? Yes, yes he did. Did Dr. Phil want them to hug each other in Alaska? Yes, he did. Where did Dr. Phil want them to hug? In Alaska. He wanted them to
hug each other in Alaska. Who did he want to hug each other in Alaska on January 1st? Who? Ah.
Buford and Grace. Dr. Phil wanted Buford and Grace to hug each other on a nude beach in Alaska on January 1st.
Did this help Buford and Grace? Yeess, it did. It helped Buford and Grace. Did it solve their problem? Solve S O L V E, solve. Did is solve their problem? Yeess, yes, they hugged each other on
the nude beach in Alaska on January 1st. Yeeaah. They hugged each other.
Are they happy now? Now. Right. Are they happy now? Yeess, now they are happy. Now Buford and Grace are happy again.
Okay, that's all. Listen to this mini story several times, many, many times. Answer all the questions.
Okay. See ya next time. Bye, bye.